Good morning Mamas!
It’s the start of a new week and it’s time to enjoy our coffee before the little ones wake! The first ever coffee chat is going to be an uncomfortable topic to talk about but one that should be talked about (quite often actually).
Postpartum Depression & Anxiety.
PPD affects more than 3 million women a year in the United States alone! And probably even way more due to those not recognizing the signs or those not able to get the help they need.
I am one of those 3 million cases.
In my case my PPD started actually during my pregnancy. For most of my life I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression and the doctors all warned me that I would be a high risk for PPD due to that. But what they never told us is that you CAN get it even before giving birth.
I spent most of my pregnancy in a constant state of panic. In my defense our pregnancy started off in a very bad state (but that’s a story for another time). I went through different stages of anxiety everyday; from worrying about the health of our daughter to the stress of if I’ll even be a good mom. My constant state of anxiety was never fully talked about, I was given a lot of “It’s all in your head” or “This is normal for first time moms” but it’s not! Pregnancy should be a happy time in your life and for me it was not and due to the extreme stress my body was under I ended up having to be induced at 38 weeks due to medical reasons.
I felt fine actually more than fine when Louise was finally here! I was so overwhelmed with love and excitement to be holding her in my arms and to see Riley as a father finally. But it was there. Looking back I can see it clear as day but we were blind in that moment. I didn’t want to hold her when she cried, I didn’t want to even try breastfeeding (which had been a goal of mine), I was lashing out on nurses and Riley. I just chalked it up to being tired and overwhelmed.
Thank god the military gave Riley 14 days off to be at home with us. While it wasn’t enough time it was what we needed. My amazing husband had been doing research of his own on signs and symptoms of PPD and was the first to catch onto it. It started out again with me just being extremely angry, I mean literally everything would set me off. The baby needed fed or changed, Riley even looking at me, or the dog coming near me. Then the depression came and it came hard. I didn’t get out of bed most days besides to use the restroom. I wasn’t eating, didn’t want even want to shower. I slept probably 20 of the 24 hours in a day, no joke.
I would cry over the smallest things. And even though I didn’t want to do much with our sweet baby girl I would be paranoid that she didn’t like me, that we weren’t bonding, and that would set me into a whole other depression. Finally Riley stepped in and made me make an appointment with my OB, he even drove me and respected my wishes of him staying in the car. We talked about everything under the sun, my midwife and I. From what my daily thoughts were like, to if I was getting enough sleep, and most importantly how I wanted to tackle this PPD.
We decided on putting me on a low dose of depression meds. They worked, for a bit. Now I must say at this part in my story: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROVIDER! PLEASE DO NOT TAKE MY OWN DOINGS AND REPEAT THEM. NOT EVERYONE CAN BE “HEALED” THE SAME WAY. AND ALWAYS TALK TO YOUR OWN DOCTOR FIRST. I like to try to live as natural as possible and stay off any kind of medication. So after talking with my husband and us going over what is best for myself, him, and our family I went off my meds. But life isn’t that simple so I must daily take time for my mental health and stay on my strict diet and herbal remedies. And yes, my PPD comes back here and there. But I truly believe it would have done that with meds as well.
But the point of me choosing PPD and anxiety as my first Monday coffee chat is to tell all you mamas out there struggling: HAVING POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER!
Let me just repeat that one more time for all those who like to add their two cents into others personal lives…..
HAVING POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION (or any mental health issue) DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER OR A BAD PERSON
It okay to not be okay sometimes. It’s okay to need help from others. It’s okay to be overwhelmed by parenthood. and it’s okay to talk openly about your problems.
In fact for myself, talking openly about my postpartum, especially during my relapses, helps me more than anything else. And if you don’t have someone to talk to about it, I’m here for you! Always feel free to reach out in the comments, through personal DM on my facebook or instagram. Never be ashamed to ask for help.
So let’s go over some important facts about PPD:
Signs & Symptoms:
- loss of interest in things you normally do
- sleeping a lot or not sleeping at all
- not wanting to be around baby
- harmful thoughts to self or baby
- unwanted thoughts
- weight gain or loss
- and so much more
To see a complete list of signs & symptoms head over to the Mayo Clinic site or speak to your physician.
*If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or think you may be suffering from PPD, please seek help immediately*
Naturals Remedies I use:
- supplements (probiotic, magnesium, sam-e, fish oil)
- diet (no processed food or caffeine)
- personal development
- taking long baths/showers
- setting aside alone time for myself
- talking to my husband about whats on my mind
- CBD oil
So let’s open this up for discussion! Comment below anything you’d like to add, share your story, offer tips and help, whatever you’d like!
Enjoy your coffee and let’s get this week started!
Happy Monday 🙂